The Processed Tree

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: Philippians 1:6 King James Version

My stormy thoughts rage as I walk in the woods. The gray edges of winter make me pull my coat close around my shivering body. In the late afternoon, the sky is visible through branches stripped bare. The mush of fallen leaves beneath my feet reminds me Autumn is long gone. Rain makes the crisp fallen leaves limp and muddy. My walk depresses me and I long to get home.

Negative images crowd my mind. I compare myself to a tree, losing its beauty as the winds of the season strip the branches bare. Each thought increases my self-loathing and doubt about myself. I compare myself to the barren trees in the wood until something in my spirit nudges me, reminding me my heavenly Father knows all about this solitary walk, his eye roves over all the earth and I can’t hide. At first, our conversation is a one-sided affair.

I let him know the good, the bad, and the ugliest of my thoughts. How I messed up again and am a failure. I ask his forgiveness, but my depression continues as I kick the sodden leaves beneath my feet. I’m convinced nothing about me shows his glory. Then lose myself in a feast of emotional pain.

In that state, it is hard to continue the conversation, but Elohim interrupts my thoughts to remind me how I tell others “look up,” when they are down. He tells me to take my own advice.

In a step of obedience, I raise my eyes from the soggy ground. Then, I smile at the wonderful vision before me. In the barren woods, a single tree remains full of golden leaves, creating a wonderful contrast with the surrounding dullness.

Elohim explains.

The tree is large, old, beautiful. It carries more beauty than the wood around it and is still useful. Mature, it spreads its roots wider and makes an impact in the ground. Yet it has experienced many seasons, bringing sun, wind, and storms. It stands out, beautiful and unusual in a season where other trees are bare.

This tree, ravaged by many seasons, radiates beauty. The processes of life allowed it to become more, not less beautiful. It took time for it to grow large enough to carry the golden leaf vision. Sometimes, all the leaves will have fallen off the tree. Yet now it speaks to me, reminding me that Elohim’s intention in any process is to make us beautiful for him.

When we remember our failures and past issues, we can’t show his glory, but if we allow Him to teach us and change us, we have more to give. The processes Elohim takes us through mean he has a purpose that will show as we grow older. If we remain steadfast in our resolution to keep him at the center of our lives, all is well. To hold on to past hurts and failures makes us like the barren trees surrounding the one with golden leaves.